Positive Parenting

Orang tua sering merasa kewalahan menghadapi anak yang mudah marah dan sulit mengendalikan diri.
Saat frustasi, marah, dan keinginannya tidak terpenuhi anak sering meledak kemarahannya dan menjadi tak terkendali. Anak akan berteriak-teriak, menjerit, menangis, menendang, memukul, menjatuhkan diri ke lantai....
Menghadapi hal seperti ini, tidak jarang orang tua menjadi terpicu amarahnya sehingga memperkeruh suasana....
Berikut ini adalah beberapa tips yang dapat dicoba untuk menghadapai anak yang mudah meledak emosinya yang saya kutip dari buku Tantrums karangan Eileen Hayes....

Positive parents are warm, nurturing, supportive but reasonably, controlling, set high expectations for their children and meet all their needs.
A child's need: love, attention, praise,respect, talking & listening, gradual independence, consistency.

Authoritarian parenting involves:

• having strict rules, giving order and using a lot of demand and threats
• using harsh, often physical punishments
• feeling it is a constant battle raising children, and that you mus win
• making all decisions, overriding your chil's whises or views

Children raised this way:

• may learn to use physical violence or other hurtful methods to solve conflicts
• can be withdrawn, fearful, stressed, angry, hostile, rebellious
• may have more tantrums

Permissive parenting involves:

• always giving in when your child whines or demands something
• doing everything for your child, not expecting her to become independent appropriate to age
• turning a blind eye to all naughty behaviour, even when it is far from minor
• allowing your child to win power battles, so lose out on your own needs.

Children raised this way

• grow up believing that their needs are more important than anybody else's and they can do exactly asa they please
• may test limit and challenge authority in a more and more desperate attempt to find the control they lack
• are quite likely to use tantrums to get what they want

Assertive/democratic parenting/positive parenting involeve

• explaining why certain rules are neessary for us to live happily together, and stating them clearly
• showing your diapproval of child's mis behaviour, but never using harsh punisments
• giving children choise, whitin limits, and appropriate to age and stage of development
• using encouragement and praise to gain children's co-operation

Children raised this way

• are well balanced and happy
• adopt easily to changes
• co-operate well with adults and behave respecfully
• handle problem solving well and try to succeed
• are much less likely to have tantrums

Ada tiga pilihan pola asuh anak, yaitu otoritas, permisif atau demokratis... Pola asuh yang kita pilih akan mempengaruhi perkembangan anak..

10 tips penting menghadapi anak yang mudah meledak...

1. coba memiliki waktu luang yang menyenangkan bersama anak
2. berikan kesempatan kepada anak untuk mengeksplorasi lingkungan dengan aman
3. hindari menggunakan kalimat larangan (tidak atau jangan), cobalah gunakan "kita akan lakukan nanti...atau lain kali kita akan bermaian lagi.."
4. ingat pentingnya memberi perhatian pada perkembangan anak, berikan pujian untuk mendorong anak menjadi lebih baik
5. coba teliti hal-hal yang dapat menyebabkan anak tertekan dan mempengaruhi anak, misalnya lingkungan baru, sekolah baru
6. buat catatan harian tentang kapan dan penyebab terjadinya tantrums
7. hargai, terima dan pahami perasaan anak termasuk amarahnya
8. beri teladan, cobalah tenang ketika kita marah, sehingga anak belajar cara mengendalikan diri
9. gunakan humor
10. jangan pernah berikan hukuman saat anak tantrums karena akan membuat keadaan menjadi lebih buruk